Sweet Sistine

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 22:48:38 GMT

Get your polls started, here comes the Sweet Sistine:

Click Image for Larger view:

Sponsored by: The new low-carb communion wafers... "I can't believe it's not Jesus!"

Foamy

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 19:51:58 GMT

If you are not aware of Foamy the Squirrel you have to check it out.

Main Site

What Classic Movie Are You?

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 23:54:35 GMT

Found this on Mike's site. Very cool I am the Godfather:

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Genius

Mon, 21 Mar 2005 19:36:20 GMT

You have to love how stupid people are:

You have to love this

Fri, 04 Mar 2005 03:19:37 GMT

I found this over at CHEEZMO'S CORNER How true is this:

"Still safer here then at Michael Jackson's"

Missouri legalizes bare-hand fishing

Wed, 29 Dec 2004 17:54:14 GMT

Ok, is it just me or is this one of the strangest things you have ever read? What amazed me about the article was that at one point this was a big enough problem to cause Missouri to make it illegal. I thought Ice Fishing was stupid, but this takes the cake. I can't wait to be watching ESPN at 3 am and see some red-neck up to his neck wrestling some monster catfish.

Quote

MSNBC - Missouri legalizes bare-hand fishing

A Christmas Story

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 18:34:14 GMT

A great friend of mine Gary sent me this, thought this just needed to be posted again:

This is an article submitted to a 1999 Louisville Sentinel contest to
find out who had the wildest Christmas dinners. This won first prize.

Christmas With Louise

As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his
fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to
fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be
true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings
were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses
and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those
things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If
you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse
yourself.

I was there an hour saying things like, "What does this do? You're
kidding me! Who would buy that?" Finally, I made it to the inflatable
doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that
could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the
car pool lane during rush hour.

Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love Dolls come in many
different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the
box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I
settled for Lovable Louise. She was at the bottom of the price scale.
To call Louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination.

On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise
came to life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during
the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled
the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also
ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a
nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his
house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left
the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back
and bark some more. We all agreed that Louise should remain in her
panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came
over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door.
"What the hell is that?" she asked. My brother quickly explained,
"It's a doll."

"Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped. I had
several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. "Where are her
clothes?" Granny continued.

"Boy, that turkey sure smells nice Gran" Jay said, to steer her into
the dining room. But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't she have any
teeth?" Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was
Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance
saying, "Hang on Granny, hang on!"

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to
me and said, "Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?" I told him
she was Jay's friend. A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the
mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting.
It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas
at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had
died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise
made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she
lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in
a heap in front of the sofa.

The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and
Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began
administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over
his chair and wet his pants. Granny threw down her napkin, stomped
out of the room, and sat in the car. It was indeed a Christmas to
treasure and remember.

Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to
decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had
suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh.
Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her
to perfect health! ~~~~~~